在英语里，cousin一词可以指代很多人。但在中文里，我们要先想：这个人是男是女？比我大还是比我小？是爸爸这边的，还是妈妈这边的？最后才能决定管他/她叫什么。听起来是不是很麻烦？

In English, the word cousin can refer to manydifferent relatives. In Chinese, however, we must first think: Is this person male or female? Older or younger than me? From my father’s side or my mother’s side? Only then can we decide what to call them. Sounds complicated, right?

其实，这和中国的历史和文化有关。

In fact, this complexity is closely connected to Chinesehistory and culture.

在古代，战争很多，人们需要依靠大家族生活。一个家族里人很多，谁是长辈，谁是晚辈，谁要听谁的，都非常重要。所以，人们用不同的称呼来表示辈分和责任。

In ancient times, wars were frequent, and people relied onlarge extended families for protection and survival. Within a big family, it was very important to know who was older, who was younger, and who should listen to whom. As a result, different kinship terms developed to show generation, status, and responsibility.

比如：

• 我是女儿，就要孝顺父母。
• 我是妹妹，就要尊敬哥哥。

For example:

• As a daughter, I should show filial respect to my parents.
• As a younger sister, I should respect my older brother.

所以，我们分得很清楚。比如，爸爸的哥哥叫伯伯，爸爸的弟弟叫叔叔；妈妈的兄弟叫舅舅，爸爸的姐妹叫姑姑。到了下一辈，爸爸兄弟的孩子是堂兄弟姐妹，表示是“一家人”；爸爸姐妹或妈妈兄弟姐妹的孩子叫表兄弟姐妹，表示关系有点儿远。

Because of this, relationships are clearly distinguished. For instance, your father’s older brother is bóbo, while his youngerbrother is shūshu. Your mother’s brothers are jiùjiu, and your father’s sisters are gūgu. In the next generation, the children of your father’s brothers are called táng siblings, meaning they belong to the same family line. The children of your father’s sisters or your mother’s siblings are biǎo siblings, indicating a more distant branch of the family.

又因为要尊敬长辈，我们很少会对长辈直呼其名，比如我们不会说“安妮姑姑”，而是用“大姑”、“二姑”、“小姑”等称呼来避免把姑姑们搞混。另外，给称呼前面加上大小、排行的另一个作用是，界定家里人的地位。因为古代中国，一般情况下只有儿子才能继承遗产，只有最大的儿子才能继承父亲的爵位和祭祀的权力。

Respect for elders is another reason for these namingpractices. People rarely address older relatives by their names. Instead of saying “Aunt Annie,” one might say “Big Aunt,” “Second Aunt,” or “Little Aunt” to avoid confusion. Adding order or size also helps define status within the family. In traditional China, sons usually inherited property, and only the eldest son inherited titles and ancestral responsibilities, making seniority especially important.

我们也会用称呼家人的方式称呼陌生人。比如你可能在街上听到人们说：“阿姨，请问厕所在哪？”或者“叔叔，我买一个西瓜。”这是因为中国文化强调尊敬他人，把社会看作一个大家庭。

Chinese speakers also use family terms when addressing strangers. You might hear someone say, “Āyí, where is the restroom?” or “Shūshu, I’d like to buy a watermelon.” This reflects a cultural value of respecting others and viewing society as an extended family.

不过，现在情况已经改变。现代家庭比较小，很多人没有兄弟姐妹，所以大家对复杂称呼也不那么严格。
Today, however, things have changed. Modern families are smaller, and many people have no siblings, so strict distinctions are less important than before.

对于学习中文的你来说，不需要记住所有称呼。可以记住常用的，说不清时用描述的方法，比如“我哥哥的女儿”，也完全没问题。

For learners of Chinese, there is no need to memorize every term. Learn the common ones, and when you are unsure, you can describe the relationship — for example, “my older brother’s daughter.” That is perfectly natural.

对了，你明白“我叔叔的哥哥”和“我叔叔家的哥哥”有什么不同吗？请留言告诉我吧！

By the way, do you understand the difference between "wǒ shūshu de gēge" and "wǒ shūshu jiā de gēge"? Please leave your answer in the comment!

*This article is a summary of the podcast “Why Are Chinese Family Terms So Complicated?”
For the full experience, please visit the podcast in English and in Chinese( with transcript).